A second person compilation.
I almost forgot what you are.
You dazzled me with numbers and symbols, and you spun me with theory and science. You were exactly what I thought you would be. Your hands wrote stunning mathematics and your mind shattered the walls around mine. The universe is truly limitless.
For you.
I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want this. I can taste it; potential is a wine and I drink deep. It leaves me spinning in intoxication and whirling in the shadow of your aura and I can’t think about anything but this.
But I’ve seen you become something else.
Something else entirely.
I am unsettled beneath my wonder. Your brilliance shines at an unworldly magnitude, but you are tarnished. You are oxidizing in political ploy and dogmatic danger.
I know what you did…
I saw what you’re capable of…
What you’re willing to do.
You’ve done it more than once… this word I keep feeling on my lips…keep wanting to spit out…burn from my mind.
Murder.
Will I ignore what you are for the chance to bask in the light of what you can be? Which is the real you, really?
Ravenous angel
what will become of me
when I cannot help but twirl
in your poison rain?
I have a headache today. It’s a jackhammer on the front of my skull, pounding on my brow and shattering my eardrums. When I close my eyes, I keep seeing the events of yesterday and it’s haunting me…much like you haunt the halls of the building…much like those phantoms haunt your mind. I can feel the cold presence of yesterday’s ghosts and I want them gone.
I am waiting for summer…but you will never let it come.
There’s a word on my tongue. It tastes sour and I want to yank it out, but I don’t. I’m gagging on it, hating the way it feels between my teeth. I can’t expel it and I don’t want to say it.
Monster.
I think there’s something you’re not telling me, and I wish you’d trust me enough to let me in. Have I not shown you my loyalty? What have I left to give, what is there left to do for you as you unravel at the seams? I cannot keep you intact if you will not let me. This is dark and deep, and you’ll swallow me if I let you. Your mind is beautiful, but beautifully unstable.
Do I make you proud?
Can you feel pride, standing frozen at the top with your back toward me and your eyes on your city? Can you feel at all, your blood a frozen stream and your mind a black corner? Can you let yourself have me, just a minute, just one moment in peace?
Can we, just once?
You’re not texting me, and I shouldn’t be surprised. You’re distant on purpose, you don’t want me here.
But you do.
I know deep down you’ll have to make up your mind one day. You’ll have to make a choice and decide who you are. You’ll have to.
And you won’t choose me.
I can live with that, you know. I am stronger than you think. I just live in the present while you’re in perception. I’m dancing in a downpour of toxins and I don’t care about the scars burning onto my skin. I cherish them, really, memories of you and I and the way we’re swirling in a maelstrom of sweet danger and bleeding in a cloud of sharp ecstasy.